Food Glorious Food

I happened upon the following in one of the books I read about how to be a good parent or something like that... it made me laugh so I thought I would share it with you...


The new Toddler Miracle Diet, used by millions of trim toddlers the world over!!!
DAY ONE
Breakfast - One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch - Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner - A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of stale beer.
Bedtime Snack - Toast piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.
DAY TWO
Breakfast - Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch - Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a cigarette (to be eaten, not smoked). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon Snack - Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.
Dinner - A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour iced tea over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.
DAY THREE
Breakfast - Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk: drink half, stuff pancakes in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.
Lunch - Three matches, peanutbutter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner - Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, coffee.
FINAL DAY
Breakfast - A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add a half-cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch - Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner - A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

I can only imagine this was written by the exasperated parent of a picky toddler... I am not so unfortunate. Iz is a fantastic eater... both in terms of quantity and variety. I fear M might be more on the fussy side but Iz from the start would tuck in to almost anything. To elaborate I will share with some some of her current favourites. 

Firstly she loves olives, both black and green, and will quickly steal every one from a salad if given the opportunity. She likes to take the extra big black olives and put her fingers inside of them like little finger puppets. 

She happily tucks into seaweed- she loves gimbap, a korean fast food made from seaweed and rice with a variety of fillings - which many of you may know better as a sushi roll. A Korean family found out just how much she likes gimbap on a recent trip to the park to admire the cherry blossoms. No sooner had we set her free from the stroller than she was off exploring and to her delight she came across a pororo (her favorite cartoon) blanket and a mountain of gimbap-y delights just meters away. Luckily, for her and us, the family were more than happy to share with her and had a daughter of the same age. Koreans enjoy sharing food so the sight of this little cherub hoovering up gimbap like it was going out of style was wonderful in their eyes although I must admit I was a tad embarrassed. Luckily Iz is sturdy enough for people to see that we don't starve her. Usually when eating gimbap you eat the entire slice in one go.. but depending on the filling that can often mean quite a mouthful of food. Iz has no problem accepting a challenge though and will stuff the entire roll in her mouth even if it means having to prod at it with her little fingers until she finds space. Just when you are convinced there is no space for chewing and her only option is to spit everything out or choke the entire thing will disappear as if she has some kind of trap door and out shoots her little paw for round two. She did however, have a brief love affair with 'the eject button,' as her dad called it. Not one to waste though she would often re-eat the ejected food... or if she was feeling generous offer it up to the nearest adult... usually me. I can honestly say pre-chewed, pre- warmed lettuce may be my least favourite so far.

so refined

Iz loves lemons and lemon juice... she doesn't even make a sour face! She would happily drink an entire bottle of concentrated lemon juice if unchecked. She had a similar reaction to the bottle of apple cider vinegar she stole from the cupboard too. 

She loves fruit- all kinds- the tangier the better. She once ate an entire apple...core, seeds and all! She loves veg too. She loves baby corn at will eat a whole can just as finger food.. oh and frozen peas are like candy to her....she even likes brussel sprouts.

Iz loves dill pickles. She knows how to ask for them.... she walks around the house shouting 'picccccowwwwwllll pleeeeeaaseee' which her dad finds hilarious. You see I HATE dill pickles. I am not a fussy eater, I have eaten dog, spiders, beetles, grasshoppers and fertilized chicken's egg... but pickles are my cryptonite. I was that annoying child in McDonald's who insisted on a plain cheeseburger and kept everyone waiting. I couldn't even be tricked with a burger that had had the pickles stealthily  removed as I could smell the lingering dill-ness on my burger. I am not sure what it is I dislike about them - maybe it is that they look like huge monster fingers bobbing about in a specimen jar? Maybe it is something about the smell... I really don't know. I try my best not to pass on my food foibles to my kids though so when Izzy politely asks for a 'piiiiiccccoooowwwllll' I plaster on my happiest face and fetch her a smelly, icky, shrek digit with all the delight I can muster. My act is so convincing she often tries to share but until now I have managed to dodge that bullet. What she likes to do instead is to cover herself in pickle juice... really get her hands good and messy.... then come and play with my hair. Maybe she is trying for extreme aversion therapy but up to now it is not working.

I must say I feel very lucky to have a toddler who is at least willing to try anything. Occasionally, such as chugging shampoo, it can have its down sides but for the most Izzy is a real joy.... I only hope she is a good influence on her little bro.