The Princess and the Pee

I, unlike some parents, do not think the sun shines out of my kids behinds. I adore my children, I tell them everyday....but I come into close contact with what really lurks in those cute peachy tushies all to often to be anything but realistic about that. When you have 2 children running around in diapers then changing them starts to get old. I intended to try and potty train Iz before M got here but you know how it is, she was confused, it was summer, I was hugely pregnant, tired, it's me not you, the sun was in my eyes, my dog ate it etc etc. She is a little older now so we figured it was time to enter the scary realm of potty training.

I don't remembering being potty trained myself so my only real recollection of this process is my mum potty training my younger brother. I say my mum trained my brother but it was more of a case of crafty delegation. You see, my brother is almost 9 years younger than me. Such big age gaps naturally alter the sibling relationship... I saw myself in a more maternal role (or paternal... whichever one is more bossy) and my brother  saw me as .... GOD! I kid, but really he followed me everywhere he could. My mum would add his food to my plate as he refused to eat from his own. When he woke in the morning he would run from his bed to mine to sleep an extra 30 minutes with me. He copied me as much as he could. My mum, obviously fully aware of the situation. saw this as a great opportunity. 

My brother's potty training went something like this... 

Mom: Hey chickadee, show your brother how to pee in his potty.

Me: What?!

Mom: He copies you. I bet you only need to do it once or twice. 

Me: Really?? On that tiny little potty. 

Mom: Yeah, I bet it will work. 

Me: But..but .. but... I'm 11!! 

Mom: Be a good sister. 

Me: You be a good mom... you pee on the potty!

Mom: He doesn't copy me... look he's watching.. quick do it now. 

Me: But I don't need to go. 

Mom: You wont need to do much.... 

I am not sure how she convinced me... but I did it. My embarrassed 11 year old self peed on a tiny plastic potty in our bathroom. I don't remember how long it took after that for my brother to be fully trained, but it would seem my mum knew what she was talking about cos it wasn't long at all. If I could train my brother so easily then surely my daughter should be easy too right??

We thought we would start by getting her used to some vocabulary. She learned pee and poo and potty in no time. She also became acquainted with the concept of tooting (breaking wind). Now every time she toots, which it turns out is remarkably often,  she lights up with her sweetest smile and, just in case you missed it, announces her 'toot' to the room... although she still has 'd' and 't' a little muddled so it sounds more like 'dooooot.' Don't worry though, she is not only proud of her accomplishments. Should somebody else make a 'doot' of their own she will kindly point that out too.... sometimes literally pointing to the person, and often the source, of the noise. Future visitors you have been warned. 

So now she knew the words, she kind of knew what they meant so it was time for stage 2. We waited til the weather started to warm so that we wouldn't have frantically unravel pants and tights every time she needed to pee.  I did encounter one major downside of naked baby butt when playing with M- I was lying on my back, balancing him on my shins so that he could 'fly' so naturally Iz wanted to be part of the action. I would just like to note that my dear husband watched on in fits of laughter as my naked daughter came and sat her naked butt right on my forehead....not only did he laugh he also took his sweet time coming to collect the still 'flying' M so that I could extricate myself from the position! I will go as far as to say the incidence has been logged and will not go unpunished.

The hubby figured naked butt was better cos at least with no diaper she would become more aware of what was happening. His main reasons for potty training are his distaste for a) spending heaps of money on diapers and b) the huge amount of waste they create so even if she was peeing on the floor for the entire summer that is still a huge win in his book.  That being said another of our reasons for wanting to get this underway is that M has started to do pre-crawling push ups. Now that he can lift his whole body off the floor, granted he hasn't figured out what to do with those pesky legs yet, it is only a matter of time before thunderbirds are go.  The last thing we need is a mobile baby chasing around a diaper free peeing machine!

Iz has long been a fan of al fresco peeing so getting her to pee sans diaper is not a problem. My sister in Iaw learned this the hard way after letting her run around naked in her room after giving her a shower. My darling daughter was happily frolicking on her aunts very bouncy bed when she decided she needed to 'go'. She nestled herself snuggly between the big soft pillows first though - after all comfort is key! Anyway I figured it was just a matter of time before she figured out how this potty deal works.

Naturally accidents happen. She has gotten pretty good at telling me what she has done after the fact. I was told that girls are easier to train as they are more independent and often feel more uncomfortable when wet... not my girl...she loves it. She seems to think peeing on the floor is like a magic trick... why have boring old floor when you can create your very own warm paddling pool to stomp and splash in. You can even embrace your creative streak and decorate the entire floor with wet footprints...ooh look a flower! She has even started asking for more water to drink these days... I can only assume that she is feeling sassy and has decided it is time she learns to swim! Our one solitary success came when she agreed to sit on the potty and watch an episode of the Super Readers. Of course we went wild with praise but couldnt be sure how much time passed between her doing the deed and our emphatic show of pride. Knowing my luck my daughter will be convinced the best way to make mum happy is to watch TV. I could just force her to sit there all day but after a while her little legs go red from the potty and I would hate to have to explain to her that she was permanently scarred cos mummy was worried she would need to invest in a dingy to make it round the apartment. Part of the problem is that she has no real 'tells'. I know lots of kids like to hide somewhere, or adopt a certain stance, so that parents, if observant, can quickly haul their little one to an appropriate peeing spot. Iz is so hard to read she actually peed ON ME! She was sitting behind me playing with my hair when I felt a warm wet sensation spreading in the area of my lower back. I can only assume she didnt think much of my choice of attire for the day, or had somehow sensed that I was sick of mopping the floor so thought she would help me out. Now as a mum I am no stranger to getting messy, Iz, during an ill timed game of 'hold you up above my head and make funny faces', actually managed to vomit in my mouth and both eyes once... but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Funnily enough M has yet to pee on me despite that being something very common to mums of baby boys.   

I am sure it is only a matter of time before she works things out... she is a smart girl after all...and just think if we get this sorted, in a year or two I can force her to teach her brother!!